its late a few random thoughts

i need to be folding laundry, maybe I should vacuum, but instead I've been surfing the web, and looking at facebook. I was very anti facebook in the beginning it was SO LAME, but then I got a new phone and it makes facebook way to easy. I take a picture and its like "do you want to put this on facebook?" i think sure why not! if I dont do something with it it will end up my phone forever and then disappear into the nothingness that is my memory SD card on my phone. so i put it up, and I have become a facebooker. I am slightly ashamed to admit it, but i'm coming out of the FB closet. i have never had a hip new phone, i feel like I am on the edge of cutting technology its pretty awesome, i'm not gonna lie. anyway. just thought I'd share.

Also, i have realized a lot of times I call my children by number. "hey shaun can you get #2 some Sunny D" (that is their new favorite beverage) or "#3 is potty training" does this mean i have too many kids? to change things up a bit sometimes we'll say "6 isnt in a good mood" or
"2 just hit 4." Names... Over-rated! i hope they don't get a complex....

Not babysitting is so awesome! not that babysitting wasn't fun, but i have had my fair share of that kind of fun! 4 kids of my own it fun enough! i feel like the world is my oyster! granted that oyster is only open for errand running between the hours of 10-12:30, when ellie is finished nursing and before carter takes his nap. then he sleeps til 3 and kailey comes home and 4 kids errand running isnt as easy as 3 kids. but those hours. wow, just knowing IF i chose to leave the house, I CAN! its liberating. not always fun but its nice to know i can

there are a LOT of go getters out there. I think I just need to face the fact. I am not one of them

I need to enjoy being a mom. its funny but everyone here looks at me and I feel a lot of pity, not bad pity but "man you sure have your hand full" or "wow are these all yours?" or "that looks like a lot of work" aren;t exactly words of encouragement. the other day at Taco Bell of all places. some old people were leaving as my entourage (me with 4 kids in tow) entered they said "You are so lucky" and "those are beautiful kids" and the taco bell lady who took my order said "you are so lucky, not everyone can have 4 kids ya know" and gave us free cinna twists. the epiphany came. I am lucky, so lucky. I have 4 healthy,happy, young, pretty well behaved kids and I get to be their mom. it may be hard in public places, and a lot of work, but I am so Lucky/blessed to have them as mine. and I need to appreciate them young because soon they will grow up. and that will just be sad.

My kisses heal anything. Carter is the sweetest kid ever, and he thinks my kisses fix anything. i LOVE it. he falls or scratches his head or leg he says "momma kiss it" so i do, then the tears stop and he plays again, or he says "no here, kiss it" and points to the exact spot so I kiss it, and all is better. Only mine work, not shauns, and i kinda like it that way. he's my mommas boy. (is it mamma or momma?) oh well. he also wants to be whereever I am. he'll grab his toys and follow me around the house. I think he likes me. the feeling is mutual